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Jay Logan's avatar

These are common problems that many new writers have. I see and comment on them in the critiques I do, but also struggle with them at times in my own writing.

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Harvey Stanbrough's avatar

I think we all do. In my experience, most new writers aren't even aware of these things. Most new writers aren't even aware yet that they need to set the stage for deeper stuff like this with a good description of the characters and setting. Without a good opening for every scene and subscene to ground the reader in that part of the story, none of this stuff matters.,

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Emilia's avatar

If I wanted to keep the reader distant from a POV character, for example it's a prologue and the character dies at the end, would using "could hear" work as a distancing technique?

I know using power words works to create distance, but I'm on the look for new POV control techniques.

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Harvey Stanbrough's avatar

Shrug. I dunno. If I was editing it and I saw "I could hear..." I'd probably leave it alone or recommend changing it like I did in the example in the post. But if I was editing it and saw "He could hear..." I'd probably leave a comment saying that was you, the writer, telling me (the reader) what the character heard instead of letting the character and me hear it ourselves.

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Emilia's avatar

Thanks, I got curious because I've heard about keeping readers at a distance from the POV character in very specific scenarios, but I haven't seen many examples. I think I've seen a floating view point used in Slow Horses by Mick Herron to keep the reader distant from an unlikeable POV character.

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Harvey Stanbrough's avatar

Yeah, I don't worry too much about all that stuff. I kind'a just write what they give me. Most of the terms we use for POV come from deconstruction by critics either directly or via English teachers. You might pose your question to Dean though.

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Emilia's avatar

I'm an engineer by training so I get excited about learning more techniques to play with, even though I don't consciously use them

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Harvey Stanbrough's avatar

Which field of engineering? I envy you.

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Emilia's avatar

Automation, I've mostly written programs which control a process (sensors, valves, motors) and made user interfaces. I've got to see big machines as well

I have a knack for logic problems and computer assisted drawing.

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Carrie's avatar

Interesting to think about. Right now I'm not in need of distancing techniques but will keep in mind, for sure. Hope you find what works best for your stories!

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Carrie's avatar

Congratulations to the short story writers! Great job! 👏

Thanks for the examples. I understand the difference on the second one but the first one doesn't really seem much different to me. Even with the explanation. Unless the point is maybe just to give more info in a few longer paragraphs.

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Harvey Stanbrough's avatar

Huh.... Maybe bookmark it and check back in the future. Or maybe read it aloud. Not much difference in either one re what the reader learns. The difference is in when and how he learns it. Nuances.

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